Harsha Bhogle's famous One liners.

1. This was in a match btw india and sa.. umpire rudi kuertzen caught on camera sporting a rare smile. harsha commented.... 

"last time rudi kuerzten smiled there was peace in west asia" 

2. This is again from the natwest trophy final..When yuvraj got out at a very crucial stage..harsha's one liner.. 

" Yuvraj singh will realize that this will be his longest walk bak to the pavillion " 

3. When Sachin once got out to a lollypop offspinner (I guess it was Michael Vaughn) in '02. 

He wonderfully said, " Oh what a shame. It was reminiscent of a soldier who survived the war when all the bullets were flying by his nose and then got run over by a bicycle in his native town ." 

4. ind vs aus 2000 icc knockout champioship played in kenya. (yuvi's debut) 

Sachin was smasing all aussie bowlers, and then he his a superb off drive off lee. 

harsha : " this innings by tendulkar has been a beautiful garden, the last shot being the most beautiful flower in it " 

5. ind vs nzl. (in nzl 2002-2003) sehwag had MANY lucky escapes. when he was dropped once again. 

harsha : " its been that kind of a day. today sehwag can walk blindfolded across a busy highway and not get runover ." 

6. Natwest Final: 

During Naser Hussain's mistimed hits/top edges on his way to his maiden hundred " Naser Hussain is trying desperately hard to find innovative ways of getting himself out" 

7. in the same match... " if you are not watching this segment of play, don't ever call yourself a cricket lover anymore. you are watching cricket of a very high order here". 

8. Here's n old one...at perth Adam Gilchrist took a blinder and he described Gilly's dive thus, " ... some of the sea-gulls flying here are going to get a complex." 

9. when tendulkar got a hundred he said 

" touch of Class & stamp of Authority " 

10. recently in india's tour of south africa...he blurted out suddenly after sreesanth's antiques with the bat and hips..." dis is the funniest thing u'll ever watch on a cricket field"...!! 

11. When Smith dropped Sachin in the 2nd Test 

Graeme Smith would be hoping that the world under his feet opens up & he would find a crevice large enough for him to slip through.... 

12. After india lost the recent test series in SA 

India lost the series because they surprised themselves by winning the 1st test . A win should never be a surprise . 

13. After Anil Kumble scored his maiden Ton...this is what our great man had to say... 

" This is the most romantic moment in Indian Cricket....." 

14. " The last time Billy gave lbw , Berlin wall was not there , there was peace in Afganistan,..................." 

15. In a match between Aus n SL , Harsha said to Ian Chappell , " I am sure you'll never become a lawyer , I understand everything you say " 

Ian Chappell had no counter for this. 

16. Harsha was hosting the ICC Awards before the T20 World Cup and he called on Jonty Rhodes to present an award. 

So as Jonty began climbing down the stairs, Harsha exclaimed, ''it's pretty unusual to see Jonty walk down the stairs, I thought he might slide down them !" 

17. when the wickets were falling in a heap in the T20 match... 

THIS SERIES IS SPONSERED BY KFC AND THE WICKETS ARE FALLING FASTER THAN THEIR (KFC's) DELIVERIES.... 

18. when Gambhr was dropped twice on consecutive deliveries, - " We should conduct a dream job in Australia & the winner will get to stand in the slip region!!!!!!" 

19. When Kumble and Ishant were batting, Hussey dropped a catch of Ishant off the bowling of Johnson and Harsha exclaimed," It's autumn in Adelaide. It's the time when leaves change their colour and they start dropping. Here, as well the catches are dropping..". 

20. In a match, dravid left a ball alone while batting. To this gavaskar, who was commenting alongside harsha was very impressed by the way he left the ball. He went on appreciating that for a minute or so. After this harsha's comment was, " Sunny, you nearly got an orgasm of happiness, didn't u!" & then both burst out into laughter! 

21. dhoni is battin with anil kumble.. dhoni calls for a tight single,n harsha has this to say," dhoni scrambles for a single n causes anil kumble n all of his 37 yrs to rush to the other end.." 

22. after shaun tait did not live up to the hype Cricket Australia created around him, ponting took him off the attack. 

harsha, in his own inimitable style: 

'shaun tait should go up to ponting and say " hello mr ponting, my name is shaun tait, and i am supposed to take 45 wickets in this test match " 

23. HB was analysing the innings of laxman...laxman made a crucial 79 in the second innings. 

HB said something like- " aussies must be feeling that wenever we are on the verge of 17th,this man(laxman) comes in between!" 

24. RP SIngh walked in but it was Laxman on strike. So the Aussies wanted him to take a single and get RP on strike... so they spread out the field completely, with only the keeper, one slip and one gully inside the 30 yard circle.. 

That's when Harsha says .. 

"now suddenly, Don Bradman is batting out there in the middle... " 

25. Seeing the flock of seagulls flying across the pitch Harsha tells Wasim Akram : " As you would say in Punjabi... kee gull hai? sea gull hai!!! " 

26. when michael clarke was caught at slip off kumble , he was still watin 4 da decision , over this harsha said, " i think he is waitin for tomorrow's newspaper to declare him out" 

27. Yuvraj hit the long six off brett lee went outside the stadium in durban 

'are there people working late in the office there....... we want the ball back' 

27. in t-20 gayle hit a monstrous six but but fell just short of the golf course outside the stadium 

harsha: " wat a poor shot just misses the golf course " 

28. " if i cannot be tendulkar then tendulkar can also not be me " 

29. the palyers told their favourite shots while coming on to bat.... 

Collingwood said "a little nurdle of the pads" and Pietersen said blocking the ball.... 

Harsha commented " the next thing they'll say is that their favourite shot is to leave the ball alone" 

30. what an introduction to India Australia semifinal: " This is a battle between unstoppable force against immovable object "

My Morning Walks.

Everyday after returning home from office at 6:15 AM.. (yes.. AM and not PM).. I set out for my morning walks..if ever there was anything very important to me, its my walk. Now, what’s the big deal about a walk and why do I treasure it so much??
There is so much more to a morning walk for me other than the casual boring funda of good for health, gets your body going early in the morning and very good health benefits in the longer run. There is so much more to it that these very well known facts.
Before I start listing the reasons why I love my walks, let me tell you where I live. I live in the Army cantonment. So you can visualize the beauty of the place. Wide roads, lots and lots of greenery, minimal traffic, beautiful boulevards, army girls.. (naughty naughty)
So here are the reasons I love my walk..
It’s the only time of the day where I spend some time with myself. There is no one to talk to, nothing to clutter my mind. I am in my own company and I love my company. You may call me a narcissist, but what the heck, I am one. This is the only time of the day where I can talk to myself, sing loudly without embarrassing myself, may be perform a lil gig if I’m in the mood. This is also the time when I plan out the things I need to accomplish at the end of the day. In a nutshell, that one hour, I am a free bird with no work pressures, no cell phone ringing, no commitments to keep up, nothing. I love that sense of freedom . What I also love is the sight of gorgeous army babes. They are real sight. A wink here and a stare there, followed by an angry stare from her father. All in good fun, of course.
Also the place is so beautiful, the most beautiful place in a city has to be the Army cantonment. The houses with a huge courtyard and lovely gardens are a rarity any where else in the city. The army offices are those British types with sloping roofs. Once you enter the cantonment, you feel you are in a different world.
So in keeping with what Johny Walker says…keep walking.

Indian tour of the West Indies

The Indian cricket team has arrived in the West Indies hoping for a repeat performance of the 1971 series led by Rahul Dravid. India has toured the Caribbean several times but this visit is a different one. It is different because they have come here as clear favorites to win the Tests as well as the one dayers. I say this with certitude even though India’s test record has been abysmal to say the least. I consider the West Indies team a hopeless case and if India has to lose this series then they have work twice as hard as they would have if they were to win. Surprisingly the reason for India’s pathetic record off late is their much hyped batting line up comprising of sehwag,dravid, “the great” sachin, yuvraj and dhoni. These celebrated players have failed time and again when their country needed them the most. Remember the last test in Pakistan {modern legends dravid and tendulkar were bowled by a rookie to innocuous deliveries} and in the recent past the home series against England where we lost against an English school team at home. Our great batsman could not play Monty panesar!!!!!!!! Geoffrey boycott, on seeing Monty bowl, would have said “my mum would have played him with a walking stick with her apron on and that too blindfolded”. Anyways seems like I’ve deviated from the topic. Somehow I love having a go at these Indian batsmen.
Coming back to the topic I think the selectors have goofed up again {I think it is goof up no.12846387 in the past one year}. They should have picked Saurav Ganguly because of a few reasons-
Ø There are lots of youngsters in the team who have not played in the West Indies. So experience counts here.
Ø Indian team has a tradition of failing when it matters the most. Saurav was the only one who showed character under pressure in Pakistan.
But hey this is Indian cricket. This is where people who rule BCCI order selectors to choose players according to their whims and fancies. These jokers {euphemism used here} have picked sachin who is not even fit and to sachin’s credit he is trying his best to be on prime time TV channels to show that his shoulder is healing. Unfortunately we were deprived of Sachin’s interviews when he was scoring his countless ducks.

India will romp home in the one-day series primarily due to 3 reasons namely dhoni, irfan and yuvraj. Chappel and dravid role in recent victories is as big as Manmohan Singh’s role as a prime minister.
I predict a 4-1 result in favor of India.{ come on guys lets give these windies 1 win. This win will come when dhoni,irfan and yuvraj fail and sehwag will perform. By perform I mean he scores around 6-8 runs.}
India will win the tests because we have a good crop of fast bowlers.{finally} and bowlers win test matches. The West Indies batting line up is as good as Bangladesh. That’s right, Bangladesh. Lara is in the sachin mould. Both are spent power. Chanderpaul should be happy if he can stand straight in front of the Indian bowling. Sarwan’s good but has always failed to deceive. Gayle is like Sehwag, actually better than sehwag at the moment. I am hoping when sehwag has some kind of interaction with Gayle, Sehwag will teach him the art of scoring countless ducks,behaving as if he is as good as bradman and then have the audacity to comment on legends like saurav who has scored more runs than half the Indian team. So there you are. The West Indies line up is as good or as bad as Bangladesh.
Recently I was watching an interview of dravid to some news channel. God..... he bored me to death. He calls the WI batting line up a formidable one. Either that guy does not know what formidable means or he was talking about Australia. Or another reason is that he does not have faith in his young fast bowlers. He is seeing a threat where there is none.
And talking about rahul’s interviews they are as boring as the saas bahu soaps on TV. It is repetitive and boring. He does not have the guts to take a stand. Question him on any controversial issue like player burn out or increased use of technology he shies away from it probably afraid of his bosses. He looks meek and does not have the stomach for a good fight. This is where saurav is way ahead of him. Saurav instilled a sense of pride among us. He was the only one who stood up against the might of the aussies. He taught the master of sledging a thing or two about sledging. Rahul comes a cropper in this regard.

All that India has to do to win this series is just turn up in the ground and play even to half its potential. Fortunately the one-day series is first. This means that if India happens to lose the test series it will hurt them. When they come back to India in the back of a defeat the public will not let them forget it. I sincerely hope that India wins the ODI’s and lose miserably in the tests. This will bring them down to earth and show them where they really stand.